Hot Weather and Missing the Single Life

I really do love my children, usually my stepchildren and mostly my domestic life. However, there are those few times that I miss my old single life. Hot weather in the South, especially during a heat wave summer like this year, makes up one of those times. When I say "hot weather in the South", I am talking about temperatures somewhere between 95 and 102 (our recent highs) combined with humidity anywhere from 45-72% (yes, it really can get that high and not be raining). The combination gives this delightfully oppressive feel, in which you feel as though you will implode upon the merest exertion. The kind of weather where you take a cold shower, and when you step out of the shower you are sweating.

Weather like this reminds me that old Marilyn Monroe movie The Seven Year Itch, a delightful comedy. There is this one scene in which her character explains how she keeps cool in hot weather - she puts her underwear in the freezer. It's not such bad idea, and one that I have actually resorted to using a few summers here and there. That brings me to today's thoughts which are how to keep cool in hot weather. Naturally that turned me to some of the things I used to do but that I can't anymore - they are the types of things that are best done as a single girl.  Here are a few of my favorites:

• Underwear in the freezer: Seriously, don't underestimate this little gem.
• Laying naked under the ceiling fan: This works very nicely, even in just your underwear
• Cold shower and light duster: Does anyone even know what a duster is anymore? Probably not, and I am not really that old myself. But they are delightfully cool. In a temperature way. In a fashion way, you are not cool. You are more Endora from Bewitched.
• A pint of ice cream for dinner: Not exactly the best example for your children, although it does have calcium and meets your daily dairy requirement. 
• Doing absolutely nothing: While this is not necessarily best as a single girl, it's only literally impossible as anything other than a single girl. Children? Heaven forbid a man in your life? You will never know the pleasure of "doing nothing". 

These days? I just crank up the A/C and threaten bodily harm to anyone that dares to leave doors or windows open for more than the ten seconds it takes to in or out.  Yes, I realize I included windows in the concept of going in and out - I do have teens, remember? And in this heat? If they really want to sneak out the window at 2AM? Just be sure to close the window.